One in four women experiences depression at least once in their lives. If you started to worry about bouts of sudden sadness, longing, then put aside all your affairs and immediately start looking for reasons.
When should you pay serious attention to your spleen?
When she threatens to develop into depression. If a woman feels very bad in the morning, her mood improves only in the late afternoon, and even then not for long. If she only wants everyone to leave her alone. When you don’t want to work, everything falls out of your hands and irresistibly pulls on sweets – then you should think about what could lead to such a state. Unlike men, we are more prone to depressive disorders. And, as a rule, they arise against the background of general dissatisfaction with life.
Why?
Because the mood of women often depends on the people around her, the family. She, as it were, transfers responsibility for her fate and happiness onto the shoulders of a man, emotionally depends on him. Weak sex is also characterized by unreasonable hopes, excessive exactingness to a partner, giving too much importance to trifles. You say: “How can I be happy when I have so many problems!” – and embark on the path leading directly into the swamp of depression and despondency.
How to distinguish longing from simple fatigue?
Reduce the load. Take time off from work, send children to my grandmother, do not do household work for two or three days – just relax. And still you feel sadness, depression and depression? So, everything is much more serious. If only this is not a reaction to stress. After all, there are situations when we need inhibition and a rest period in order to adapt to new conditions, find a solution, and get used to what we have. When a woman knows why she is yearning, there is a specific problem, then this is healthy melancholy, normal grief, part of our life. An unhealthy condition begins where a woman does not see the reasons for her anguish, avoids awareness of what happened, does not want to know why she is oppressed. And in this case, depression is already becoming malignant. Neurosis is an attempt to avoid legitimate suffering, said the famous philosopher and thinker Jung. Depression is an escape from problems.
And if these problems arise because loved ones just dump their negative emotions on her?
A woman very often becomes a convenient “receiver” of negative information for her husband and children. After all, she is generally the host. In order not to get saturated with this stream of negative energy, you need to be able to keep your borders, restore them if they are violated. A woman should not live only in the interests of her husband, even the most beloved. It is necessary to protect your spiritual territory and not tolerate anything offensive to yourself.
Is longing harmful?
If she is unhealthy, then surely yes. Over time, her attacks will become more frequent, and periods of remission will become shorter. The quality of life will noticeably worsen. With great difficulty, you will be given even the simplest solutions – what to do now, where to start the day. Confusion, emotional and mental weakness will come. If these conditions are not treated, then health can also worsen. From the impossibility of changing anything in the outside world, a woman will begin to hate herself, will no longer turn to doctors. It is not for nothing that it has been noticed that one of the indirect signs of depression is untreated teeth. It’s hard with such a woman and her loved ones, especially her husband. He feels with her insecurity, a certain inferiority of his presence, uselessness, failure. Which, of course, does not strengthen family relationships.
So how do you handle this? Maybe leave?
Not the fact that this will help. You can also yearn for a change of scenery. Traveling will only benefit if you find a solution to your problem there. You need to gain courage and courage and see what happens to your life. But it is advisable to do this with the help of a psychologist, so as not to get bogged down in this state even deeper. Try to fall into a coma for a few days. Strengthen your depression. Let a loved one, without asking anything, courting you like a good nurse. Three days of total inactivity – physical and mental – are especially helpful when depression overlaps with fatigue. But what is clearly harmful in such a situation is the constant wearing of a mask. You portray another emotion in people, spend energy on it, and depression in the meantime only intensifies. If possible, you need to limit communication, take part of the work home. Go to dinner alone, and not in the company of colleagues. And take off your mask in moments when no one sees you.
How to deal with longing
1.Realize the reason.
Try to find out what is happening to you and your life. Does the whole world collapse around because your beloved has left you? Maybe loneliness itself torments you. And not that a person insignificant in general for your life has left. Perhaps you idealized him too much, just not to be left alone. And this fact must be accepted and experienced, and not expelled from consciousness. Longing always has a specific reason. They only need to be seen, and not to blame the whole world for self-injustice. And then hopelessness will appear.
2. Take responsibility.
Each of us has the ability to become happy. Because fate is not really what happens to you. Fate is a choice, our choice. We ourselves choose the life we lead. Now suppose that when you marry, you have given part of the responsibility for yourself, your mood and condition to a man. And if something is wrong, then he is to blame, and you become depressed. But should a husband only be responsible for making you happy? Bring back this part of the responsibility and do something good for yourself. Such emotional independence helps to solve many problems of family life.
3. Take control of the situation.
Attacks of longing can take away our self-confidence. Take control of your feelings, achieve ease of gestures, lightness in the body. Try to see the good even in the bad.
4. Love yourself.
A depressed woman is hard to get to do something. It is necessary to negotiate with her. Tell yourself: my dear, I love you so much. Let’s get up now, wash ourselves and get out of this closet. We will do everything to make you feel good today. And praise ourselves. And then, in spite of everything, we will begin to engage in ourselves. Regardless of the mood in which the husband came and what kind of relationship is now with him. This is first of all your life, and you have one. Go and play sports, meet a friend who has not been seen for a hundred years. Start taking care of yourself. Any general strengthening procedures – a contrast shower, swimming, running – should also take place in the mainstream of self-love. And sports must be done, because when you move the body itself begins to produce substances – antidepressants. Well, the best prevention of these conditions is a healthy sadness about those things that have already happened.