Depression in maternity leave for a young mother is characterized by both a temporarily depressed mood and a long duration, depth and powerlessness to do anything. If you do not pay attention to mom, ignore her problems, then a tendency to chronic continuation of the disease will be imperceptibly noted. Often in the family, all the attention of relatives is concentrated near the baby, since the birth of the baby is a joyful event and why the woman is treated, relatives often do not understand. According to statistics, about 20% of women under one year old are in a depressed state, the duration of which directly depends on the time of therapy.
Depression on maternity leave is often not at all temporary. And if the depression is prolonged, then it will destroy not only family relationships, but also the whole subsequent life of a woman.
Depression on maternity is manifested by the following symptoms:
- increased fatigue. The most severe overwork is observed for the first time six months after the birth of the crumbs. For this reason, apathy appears, irritability, estrangement from the husband and child;
- dissatisfaction with the appearance. The female figure after giving birth undergoes changes and needs time to return to its previous forms. Because of this, a woman experiences severe irritability, does not accept herself as changed;
- boredom from the lack of diversity, as a young mother is constantly in a confined space;
- bad mom’s syndrome. Women who have given birth to the first-born often think that they can’t cope with their duties, they do everything wrong and do not know anything.
Psychologist’s advice on how to deal with depression on maternity leave
A woman should realize that as the baby grows older, it will become easier for her.
To eliminate the problem of having to stay in a confined space, you need to walk more, do some shopping, go on a visit with your child.
To restore the figure should establish a balanced diet, exercise. Regular training will allow you to tone the body in a short time.
Accept any (physical and financial) help from the immediate environment.
It is very important, while on maternity leave, to find a favorite thing for yourself. You need to think about what you would like to do. If the type of labor allows, then you can take some part-time work. This will distract from household chores and provide an opportunity to improve the financial situation. Of course, you will have to take into account the regimen of a child’s day, as well as plan a hobby or work without compromising attention to the family.
While on maternity leave, you can engage in self-development, increasing your level through the Internet and reading literature. Reading books and magazines will allow you to learn something new for yourself, plunging into another, fictional world.
It is important to always remember about rest. Putting the baby to bed in lunch, the young mother should also rest.
A relaxing bath with sea salt and foam will also be helpful before bed.
Often, a woman caring for a child has no time to pay attention to relatives or talk on the phone for a long time. It is necessary to find a little time for this, but to do it when mom is not busy and not annoyed.
It is important to include a walk without a child in the weekly schedule, at least for two hours. This will allow the psyche of a woman to relax.
It is important that leisure time spent without a child is different from the usual everyday life. If a woman spends the evening at home watching the program, then there is no point in such a vacation. And if she meets her friends, she goes to a concert, with her husband for dinner in a restaurant, bowling, then all this will significantly change the mood as a whole.
Psychologists recommend spending free time at the women’s forum to avoid depression on maternity leave. By registering on the site for mommies, you can create your own diaries, share experiences, actively participate in chats, discuss other people’s comments, read useful information on raising a child.
The advantage in communicating on forums is that the woman herself chooses the topic of her interest.
If time does not allow you to sit at the computer, then you can expand the circle of acquaintances, walking with the child on the playground.
One should learn to see the positive in everything that surrounds. Shopping, cooking, a walk in the park, watching moving vehicles, people, animals, weather outside the window. All this can distract from your thoughts and give you many pleasant minutes of relaxation, when you are not thinking about anything, but just watching.
No need to deny yourself the acquisition of interesting things for home improvement. They will make the house more unusual.
When buying clothes, you should give preference to bright colors. They are able to positively affect mood.
Revelations of tired mothers on maternity leave
The appearance of a child in the family is a joy, but if there is no help and support from the groans of loved ones, then maternity stay becomes a horror for young mothers. Emotional burnout overtakes women who fully devote their weekdays and holidays to raising children.
At receptions by psychologists, words filled with hopelessness and fatigue sound. Women have no one to talk about because they are not understood.
The revelations and horrors of the decree, recorded from the words of women by a psychologist:
“Automatism, hatred, emptiness. The lack of warm feelings for the newborn son. “My behavior is dictated by the norm, because it is customary to smile, play with the child, and there is complete unwillingness to do so.”
“Rage, aggression, the desire to sleep and stay in silence for a long time so that no one bothers.”
“I want to cut my own nipples with scissors so that they are not sucked, twisted, and ideally, so that neither the child nor the husband touches them.”
“Already with his son for a year. Everywhere a duel: in the bathroom to wash; in the hallway to dress; in the kitchen to feed; in the room to bed. I would like to go to work more quickly, and arrange the child in the garden. Every day I howl from fatigue, my son cries with me. I want to die, I hate myself, that I can’t give the child the proper love, I don’t have the strength to play and play with him. ”
“In the evenings I fall from my feet. The child and husband are sleeping, the moments of silence are the most desired in the world. ”
“My husband, having come home from work, lies on the sofa with the phone, and I spin around with the baby, take out the pot, feed, fly, clean up the scattered toys, and also serve the adult man. How I feel at the same time my husband is not interested. “
“My husband goes to the store, and I am sad or roaring at home with my six-month happiness. I want to break free, though not by much. “My husband does not let go of the child to the store so that no one sneezes at the baby.”
“There is no time to drink tea when I want. Even in the shower with permission I go and then go under the phrase so that I will not be there for long. Going crazy in four walls. “
“The happiness of motherhood is a controversial issue. Rather, it is a torment that is difficult to imagine in the worst nightmare. I dream of handing over a child somewhere, I got it already. He is 4 years old, he is uncontrollable. He screams for an hour because he does not get what he wants at that moment. He screams as if they were cutting him. Neighbors come, ring the doorbell. We are normal parents, we don’t drink, we don’t smoke, we work. The son does not understand words and punishments. Torn wallpaper, scratched furniture, broken toys. I envy those who have no children. How wrong I was when I wanted a child. “
This is just part of the complaints and revelations of women regarding staying on maternity leave. Loving men should be sympathetic to wives who are next to their children for 24 hours every day and speak openly about accumulated fatigue.
Psychologists advise women not to be afraid to tell their husband about their depression on maternity leave. You should frankly talk with your spouse and indicate where exactly the difficulties arose, which the woman can’t cope with. The conversation must be conducted in a positive manner, without reproaches and tears. In this matter, female wisdom can help. It should be said to her husband that joint games with the child and pastime will help the baby to be similar in quality to his father. Men love when they are told about the resemblance to a child.
So, depression on maternity leave is a temporary phenomenon and if there is a constant participation in the upbringing of crumbs by relatives, then unpleasant moments of a depressed mood will be smoothed out and will be milder for mom’s psyche.