Office depression

Recently, specialists have been seriously concerned about the growth of the so-called highly functional depression. What is this phenomenon and how to deal with it?

What is the difference between highly functional depression and usual?

A person suffering from classic depression can be seen right away: he is always sad, inhibited, he has little energy. As a rule, he begins to follow himself less and dresses casually. He simply does not have enough strength for all this.

People with highly functional depression, or white-collar depression, may look even better than before. They try to do everything so that no one guesses about their problems. Such a person works a lot, manages a lot, quickly thinks. For all, he is a successful, prosperous character.

And then what is his depression expressed in?

That he almost does not feel anything. Does not experience what brings a feeling of fullness of life: subtle experiences, admiration, tenderness, anticipation.

This man became a walking half-robot. He works more efficiently than others precisely because he excluded feelings from his life. If summoned for frankness, he can describe his condition like this: “Everything in my life is fine, but nothing pleases.”

For him, everything becomes meaningless – hobbies, entertainment, shopping. Not only joy fades, but also love for loved ones, for the child, interest in friends. Sport causes irritation, exhausting walks.

A person ceases to understand humor. When someone tells a funny story, he may ask: “Well, what’s so funny?” Himself often evil jokes, offending others. If in your environment there is a bitchy woman, a constantly capricious friend or a man who is annoyed at all, it is possible that these people suffer from white-collar depression. And all their actions are just a way to hide their condition.

But do they themselves understand that they are simply unhealthy?

More often than not. Such a person believes that he simply knows life well: he saw everything, experienced everything, tried everything. And I realized that nothing can surprise him, make him happy. In his opinion, only foolish, naive people rejoice. In the reasoning of such a person there is a lot of cynicism, he treats everything with skepticism.

It becomes very sad next to such people, there is a feeling of emptiness.

Who most often falls into this type of depression – men or women?

I think both of them. In women, this is facilitated by perfectionism, the desire to do everything perfectly, to be in time everywhere. Men think that complaining is a shame. And if he feels bad, then he will try to make every effort so that no one notices this.

In general, experiencing depression is typical for people aimed at success. In their midst the spleen is not in honor today. It is fashionable to be energetic, successful, positive. Enjoy life, experience pleasure. And even if a person feels that something is wrong with him, he does not go to the doctor, psychologist. He is afraid that he will be considered a loser, that he will “sit down” on pills, fall out of life, lose a well-paid job.

In public, a person suffering from this form of depression is struggling to hold his face, trying not to show that he is sick. But refusing to admit that he has problems, he drives himself even further into a dead end.

What causes such office depression? From the fact that a person works a lot?

Not necessary. Perhaps some kind of drama happened in his life, for example, he was in love, he had to part with a woman, and he did not live this pain, he did not go all the way of experiencing loss. And he simply said to himself: everything is fine, I absolutely do not care, not this one, it’s so different. He continues to live as if nothing had happened. He just doesn’t feel anything anymore.

I had a client that a friend failed. They led a business together, and this comrade, as they say, “threw” him. My client considered it below his dignity to express to the partner anger, resentment. He said to himself: yes, it happens in life. Just in business, no one can be trusted. Then you will not be betrayed, and you will not experience such pain.

The man was very pleased with his restraint and proud behavior. But after a while he discovered that he could not feel joy. “I can enjoy: random love, extreme sports,” he says. “But that is not that joy.” Not that quiet calm feeling that fills the whole organism with energy.

What should this person do in relation to a friend who betrayed him?

At least admit to himself what feelings he felt for him. In our country, they say, especially men: smart people do not take offense, but draw conclusions. But what about such an intelligent person if they hurt him?

You can’t be offended, so you need to portray that he doesn’t care. So the process of despair has gone. Because it does not happen that I allow myself to experience some emotions and forbid others. It is impossible to suppress feelings of resentment, anger in oneself so that the ability to rejoice, wonder, love is not affected.

The man whom the friend betrayed had to say to himself: “Yes, I seem to be offended. I do not like this feeling, it is somehow not masculine. But, nevertheless, I experience it. Why?

I guess I expected too much from my former friend. And he betrayed me. And it really hurts me. I am ashamed that I trusted this man. I am afraid that now I will lose respect for myself. And all the time I’m thinking about how to continue to prevent such a situation. ”

In these considerations, it is important to get angry. Allow yourself to express all the feelings that you feel for the person who offended you.

Psychoanalysts believe that depression is aggression against yourself. A man reproaches himself for his trust, for allowing another to do so with him.

But relationships are always the responsibility of two. Yes, I’m to blame for what happened. But so is he. And if a person manages to feel anger at the enemy, depression will begin to recede. And the process of “insensibility” will be stopped.

And how to show this anger if we live in a civilized society? Go and make a scandal?

This is not the best option. The adversary may say: “I don’t give a damn about what you think of me.” And then your depression will be even stronger. Or a new wave of conflict will begin.

There are safer ways to express your feelings – for example, write a letter to your opponent and not send it. Or tell someone emotionally about the conflict. Ideally, a therapist who can properly listen and provide support.

What is the danger of this type of depression?

The cunning of highly functional depression is that it is invisible to others. The fact that a person has become “dry,” or slightly irritable, or sarcastic is often explained by the complexities of his character, the characteristics of his life. At this time, depression leads its destructive work in it.

In addition, a person with such a problem becomes less cautious. For example, driving a car. He can plunge into his thoughts and exceed speed at some difficult fork. Or walk along a dark street without feeling danger and not trying to avoid trouble. His fear for his own life does not work, he just does not care.

Such a person often misses the symptoms of dangerous diseases, because he does not feel his body, does not hear his signals.

A person should experience the whole gamut of emotions. And if joy disappeared – this is a signal of emotional distress. Look for where you lost her. And the sooner you start the search, the better.

local_offerevent_note March 17, 2020

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